Potholes – are they messages sent from outer space?

I don't know about the rest of Canada, but where I live, potholes are an everyday part of life. Like hair or children, you don't really notice it them until they're gone. So I barely notice potholes until I travel to the US and drive along their smooth Interstates (seriously, are those things made of pure silk or what?)

When I say that you don't really notice them, I don't mean that you just drive along your merry way and they don’t have an impact on your life. On the contrary! They can seriously impede your ability to drive… you just don't realize it until they aren't there.

So after a drive along the American highways of silk, I started to pay attention to our roads – our haggard roads, beat up from months of being buried under snow and ice. And here are the results of my scientific observation:

You either steer around potholes or you drive through them. Those are your only two choices. Neither is preferable.

• Steering around potholes is challenging because you become the very erratic driver that you hate. Plus (especially where I live), the only way you can steer around a pothole is by driving up onto the sidewalk. (Our attorneys asked us to mention: This was a sarcastic sentence and not actual driving advice).
• Driving through potholes is perilous for different reasons. It can damage your car or jar your driving enough to cause you to drop burning hot coffee all over your lap. Either way, your ability to drive safely disappears and you are left either careening all over the road because your car no longer functions like a car or you end up screaming like a little girl who just got a pony for Christmas.

Another observation I've made is: You cannot identify a pothole before deciding what to do. You can look at a tree and determine if it is an evergreen or a deciduous or an apple tree or something that will look nice with ornaments and an angel on top. But you can't identify a pothole. They're mysterious. They can appear shallow until your car slams into it and you hit your head on the car's roof. They can be hidden by shadows or filled with water, impossible to determine just how severe they are.

Their ubiquity, mystery, and treachery has led me to the only logical conclusion: potholes are created by aliens – sort of like an urban crop circle. But for what purpose? Are they divots from invisible lasers? Are they landing pads for tiny little spaceships? Are they messages that we need to decode?

Well, our advice is to avoid them if possible. Drive around them (carefully). Slow down when you're near a pothole. And if you do collide with one and damage your car, bring your car to Boyd Autobody & Glass.

We'll get you back out on the road in a safe, restored car so you can dodge potholes again.