The monster under the seat

I used to think a monster lived under the bed. Fortunately, my wife assured me that it lives in the closet and not under the bed so I should be okay. (She also suggests that, given the rarity I venture into the laundry room, I seem to think a monster lives in the washing machine).

I know that a monster doesn't live under the bed. And I'm pretty sure that one doesn't live in the washing machine (although if it does, that would explain why I never seem to have matching socks). But I think there is something living under the seat in my car.

Consider the evidence: Pens, coins, gas receipts, sunglasses, CDs, and the occasional cell phone charger constantly disappear in my car. I believe half of a Subway sub also vanished earlier this summer, too. While investigating, I found all of this stuff (minus the sub, thankfully) under the driver's seat. The only conclusion is that whatever lives under the car seat is using all of those things to build a nest.

It's like the Loch Ness monster – you never see the monster but you can't miss the loch.

Since I'm convinced that something lives under there, I'm forced to wonder: What does it do in the car when I'm driving? Like my cat, does it just perch there believing that it owns the world? Or, like my dog, does its tongue hang out whenever we drive? Or, like the Chihuahua in the back window, does its head bob up and down over every bump?

And what about when I'm not there? Does it run around inside the car? Does it play inside my car like my kid plays in his bedroom when he's supposed to be napping? That maybe explains why I always have to move the seat back and turn the radio down whenever I get into the car. (I've tried blaming my wife for this one but it hasn't stopped, so it can't be her).

I also have to wonder: What does it do for food? That sub is still missing but you can't live on Subway forever (but don't tell my college-aged nephew that). Does its long tongue sneak up to my coffee mug and take a sip while I'm not paying attention? That's possible. It explains why there's always a small puddle of coffee at the bottom of the cup holder. Does a tentacle reach for the container of Cheerios that we give our kid to snack on while driving? That's possible too because we find those little round "O's" basically everywhere.

I'm not sure what to do about this thing. I left my car window open overnight once, hoping that the thing would run away… but it rained like crazy and there was a puddle on the floor on the inside of the car the next morning. (I desperately hope it was a puddle of water).

My biggest concern is for the safety of my family. I don't want this thing running out from under the seat while I'm driving and causing an accident. Try explaining THAT ONE to the insurance company. If I do get into a collision (for whatever reason – whether or not it's monster-related) I'm bringing my car to Boyd Autobody & Glass. Although they don't have professionals on staff to handle monster-removal, they can fix up my car and get me back on the road safely. But the monster I'll have to contend with myself.

I'm thinking of suggesting to my wife that we upgrade our vehicle – from a family-friendly sedan to something a little sportier, only because the seats will be lower to the floor and therefore there won't be enough room for this under-seat-dweller to nest.

The 4 personalities you meet on the road

When driving, it's so easy to forget about the other drivers out there and just to focus on what our car is doing and where we need to go. But we share the road with many other people who are all hurtling down the asphalt in glass-and-steel contraptions at dangerously high speeds.

If you want to be a safer driver, be aware of the 4 kinds of personalities on the road. Chances are, you'll recognize yourself as one of these personalities and – more importantly – you'll spot these personalities among other drivers. Knowing how you and everyone else reacts can help you predict and avoid collisions.

The timid driver: The timid driver is the one who drives slower than the speed limit and sometimes brakes without warning on what appears to be a clear road. They can slow sooner than most on an approach to intersections and they are likely very slow to start off again when the light turns green. They appear to be easily startled by driving conditions.

How to drive around these drivers: Give them lots of space if you're driving behind them because they might brake suddenly. Don't get aggressive. Their style might annoy you but it will make them more timid and unpredictable. Just pass them and keep driving.

The aggressor: The aggressor pushes the speed limit, edges into traffic with very little space, and shouts at other drivers even if no one can hear them. The aggressor drives their car pretty hard and they don't have a lot of patience for slow drivers or unpredictable ones.

How to drive around these drivers: Be predictable. Give them plenty of space. Don't be intimidated if they drive by you while shaking their fist.

The distracted driver: The distracted driver might be the parent with 3 kids in their minivan or they might be the business person with a cell phone. Regardless of the distraction, the result is the same – an activity that requires 100% focus (driving) only gets about 50% focus (or less) because there is something else that is pulling their focus away. These drivers can be unintentionally unpredictable and, as a result, might not speed but might brake or turn suddenly.

How to drive around these drivers: Steer clear of them. Their unpredictability is very dangerous. Don't bother trying to alert them to their lack of focus; they won't notice you anyway.

The show-off: This driver might seem like an aggressor but they have a louder car and something to prove. Therefore, they are easy to provoke and don't want to be shown up on the road. Passing seems to them to be an invitation to race. Stop lights are just a countdown to a fast take-off.

How to drive around these drivers: You're probably better off behind them (and you won't be close behind them for long because they're sure to speed off). Don't get drawn into foolish driving with them and don't provoke them to show off.

Being aware of these personalities and driving carefully around them won't solve every collision but it will help to reduce the likelihood of collisions that are caused by "personality conflict" on the road.

If you do get into a collision, bring your car to Boyd Autobody & Glass. We'll work quickly to get your car safely restored and back out on the road.

Spring driving tips

It's that time of year again! It's a weird time that people call Spring – but it's really a time when the nights are cold and the days are warm and we can wear short-sleeved shirts even though there's snow on the ground.

Each Canadian season has its own unique driving challenges and springtime is no different. Here are some tips to help you drive more safely during the spring:

• Remember that even though the air temperature might be nice, the ground is still cold and possibly frozen. So you might be able to wear your t-shirt but your car might still slip on the ice.
• Potholes, which multiplied over the winter, are now much more dangerous than ever because they are not packed with frozen ice and snow. You might see them or you they might contain water but are hidden by a crust of ice. Be careful when driving and watch the cars in front of you to see if they hit potholes. Steer around potholes, especially because you don't know how deep they are.
• Now that the weather is nice, people are getting outside again. But being inside all winter has made them forget that they have to share the road with you. Watch for pedestrians who are oblivious to your car; in particular, pay close attention to kids who are eager to run around now that they are unencumbered by snow boots.
• The weather is fickle and can turn cold and snowy in a heartbeat. Be prepared with a coat and a hat and gloves and an ice scraper and low-temperature washer fluid. And don't forget that rain can turn to ice by dropping only a few degrees.
• Springtime snow melt turns gutters into rivers and those rivers can overflow onto streets. If a street has turned into a river, take another route. Avoid splashing through big puddles because you don't want to get water into your engine, you don't want to lose control by hydroplaning (and you don't want to splash nearby pedestrians, either). And, pooled water can hide other dangers (like potholes, washouts, and other hazards).
• Wash your car to clean any salt off of it. Salt may have been good to melt the ice but it can accelerate the rust on your car.
• As the spring weather continues and you move closer to summer, you can change your winter tires to summer tires, you can remove the shovel and cold-winter gear from your trunk, and you can replace your winter emergency kit with your summer emergency kit. Just don't do it too early!

Enjoy the weather because we don't get very long summers here in Canada! Look forward to it, get out into the great outdoors, and stay active all summer.

If you get into a collision while navigating our springtime roads, bring your car to Boyd Autobody & Glass. Our collision repair team will get your car fixed up and back on the road in no time!