Sunday, May 18, 2014

Why your car HATES grocery shopping

I hate grocery shopping. There are probably hundred – or even a hundred thousand – other things I'd rather do. No offense meant to grocers or to those who love grocery shopping; it's just not my thing. My car hates grocery shopping, too.

Grocery store parking lots are magnets for autobody damage. There are a lot of cars in a confined location and everyone seems intent on getting the parking spot closest to the door.

  • Loose shopping carts are caught by the wind and become high speed (well, medium speed) dent-machines, barrelling head-on into the nearest car. A gust of wind and WHAM, your car has been victimized by a steel rolling cage. (It could almost be its own reality TV show, don't you think?)
  • Distracted drivers are busy watching for an open parking spot while also trying not to hit people who seemingly dart out from between vehicles. It's like an insane slalom but they can make it harder by talking on their iPhone, eating a Panini, and yelling at the kids. These drivers can veer suddenly or make turns that are too wide or too narrow and WHACK, your car has a brush with steel.
  • Blind reversals may sound like an investment technique or a poker-playing trick but it's actually a daily occurrence in grocery store parking lots. You know the situation: Some little family car is tucked between two behemoth SUVs and they need to get out. They should edge out slowly but "slow" isn't a word in some drivers' vocabularies. They put the car in "R" and push the accelerator to the floor. If you're lucky, they'll look directly behind them but their field of vision is too narrow anyway. When that happens, BANG, your car has been kissed by a 100 horsepower station wagon.
  • Vigilante key holders are those people who think that just because they have a set of keys, they can mete out justice like a Wild West sheriff. Park your car too close, or park too nice of a car nearby, and SCRATCH, your car now has a deep canyon carved down its side.

While you're inside battling other people for a loaf of milk or a can of butter, your car is facing its own battle on the frontlines of the grocery store parking lot.

Me? I'll be the one who just sits in my idling car in the lane while my kids or spouse runs in to pick up the milk. (Oh, wait…)

But seriously, if you find your car is the victim of a grocery store parking lot "incident", drop the milk and eggs off at home and then drive down to Boyd Autobody & Glass to have us take a look at the damage. It might seem small now but we can turn your less-than-pristine car into a beautiful set of wheels once again!